Welcoming a New Sibling to the Family
If you’re currently expecting a second child, you have probably noticed a big difference in your mental to-do list. We have found that the questions second-time parents have vary vastly from the ones first-time parents have - and it makes so much sense why. You’ve done the diapers, the night shifts, learned all the monthly development milestones. That’s old news now. A lot of parents expecting a second (or third) are mostly concerned with how to integrate a new baby into their family system and most importantly, helping siblings adjust to this big life change.
With that in mind, here’s a list of things that could really smooth the transition when bringing a new sibling into the family unit.
Part 1: Before the baby arrives:
Start talking a lot about the baby and what new babies are like 1-2 months before birth.
There’s no need to really mention the baby too early in the pregnancy. For kids, 9 months is a true eternity. We suggest starting to mention the new baby more regularly 1-2 months before their arrival.
“Babies are small and we have to be very gentle with them”
“Babies drink milk”
“Babies cry when they’re hungry”
“Babies sleep a lot”
Read books about new babies/siblings
Books are a great way to introduce the idea of a sibling, especially to young children (under 5). This is because the information is not coming directly from you, but from a more neutral third party, and stories are always helpful in making sense of the world and visualizing the future. A couple books we love for introducing new siblings are
It's Big Brother Time! by Nandini Ahuja and Five Minutes’ Peace by Jill Murphy
Play Pretend
Get your child a little stroller and baby doll so they can start adjusting to the idea of a new baby by playing pretend. This also helps them feel bigger and more confident.
Part 2: Introducing your child to their new sibling
Say hello together
If possible, try not to be holding the baby the first time your child meets them. You could leave them sleeping (ideally) in the car seat or a bassinet, and approach the newborn together to say hello as a family.
Gift Exchange
This one is more helpful for toddlers. Let your toddler pick out a gift for the new baby. When you introduce them to their newborn baby sibling, present a gift “from the newborn” to your toddler, something you know they would appreciate like a stuffed toy of their favorite character, or whatever you think would be meaningful to your toddler - you know them best!
Part 3: The first 6 months
Don’t blame the baby for why you can’t do things with your older child
Try not to make the baby the reason for every “not right now.” Instead of “I can’t play because I’m feeding the baby,” try “I’d love to build with you. Save me a spot, and I’ll join you when I’m finished.” If five minutes is realistic, offer a timer and follow through. It’s still okay to explain that babies need care; the goal is to help your older child feel remembered.
Include your child in caretaking for the newborn by offering small, helpful tasks
These can be very simple things - bringing a diaper over from the other room, choosing pajamas, or singing a lullaby to the new baby. Than, show them your appreciation: “Thank you for bringing that diaper. That was really helpful!” If they’d rather play, that’s okay. They can be a loving sibling without being a helper.
Make sure you make time for alone time with your older child
This one is super important. You don’t want your child to feel like their baby sibling “stole” you from them. You can aim for a small, predictable moment together each day, whether that’s reading at bedtime, drawing, or a short walk. Let your child choose the activity when possible. A familiar ritual reminds them that they still have a special place with you.
Don’t potty train at the same time - keep big transitions to a minimum
It’s understandable to want potty training finished before another round of diapers begins. But learning a new skill while adjusting to a sibling can feel overwhelming, and disrupted routines can make practice harder. If possible, tackle potty training well before the arrival or wait until family life feels more settled. Follow your child’s readiness rather than a deadline, and respond calmly if accidents return.
Your child may be excited one minute and upset the next. Make room for both: “You love the baby, and you miss having me all to yourself.” They don’t have to love every moment to become a loving sibling. If the adjustment feels difficult, bring it up with us at West End Pediatrics. We’re always here and happy to help.
